Sunday, March 28, 2010
Pure Comedy : J.D. Shapiro Apologizes To The Public For Giving Us Battlefield Earth
J.D. Shapiro, the screenwriter who gave us Battlefield Earth, in response to the infamous bomb winning the Razzie for "Worst Movie of the Decade", has also given us this hilarious open letter of apology for doing so...
I Penned The Suckiest Movie Ever. Sorry.
"Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see 'Battlefield Earth'.
It wasn't as I intended -- promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing it to a train wreck isn't really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.
It started, as so many of my choices do, with my Willy Wonker.
It was 1994, and I had read an article in Premiere magazine saying that the Celebrity Center, the Scientology epicenter in Los Angeles, was a great place to meet women.
Willy convinced me to go check it out. Touring the building, I didn't find any eligible women at first, but I did meet Karen Hollander, president of the center, who said she was a fan of 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights'. We ended up talking for over two hours. She told me why Scientology is so great. I told her that, when it comes to organized religion, anything a person does to reward, threaten and try to control people by using an unknown like the afterlife is dangerous.
Nonetheless, Karen called me a few days later asking if I'd be interested in turning any of L. Ron Hubbard's books into movies. Eventually, I had dinner with John Travolta, his wife Kelly Preston, Karen -- about 10 Scientologists in all. John asked me, "So, J.D., what brought you to Scientology?"
I told him. John smiled and replied, "We have tech that can help you handle that." I don't know if he meant they had technology that would help me get laid or technology that would stop Willy from doing the majority of my thinking.
I researched Scientology before signing on to the movie, to make sure I wasn't making anything that would indoctrinate people. I took a few courses, including the Purification Rundown, or Purif. You go to CC every day, take vitamins and go in and out of a sauna so toxins are released from your body. You're supposed to reach an "End Point." I never did, but I was bored so I told them I had a vision of L. Ron. They said, "What did he say?" "Pull my finger," was my response. They said I was done..."
NUCLEAR BOMB: Forest Whitaker and John Travolta in “Battlefield Earth.” The big-screen disaster based on the L. Ron Hubbard novel won a coveted Razzie for Worst Movie of the Decade.